Anger: Secondary Emotion

Hello  Journeymen and journeywomen. This is a hero's journey with Dr. D  Inspiring, encouraging, motivating, and educating. Helping you get  beyond your first move. That's my goal. That's my objective and that's my purpose. But today, this is what we're talking about today. I said it before, we talked about anger. 

Anger, secondary emotion,  because we always thought that anger was the issue that a person just gets angry, angry and gets go shell.  But I'm here to tell you that's not the case.  Anger gets the bad rap. Anger is a neutral emotion.  It's a very neutral emotion. I want everybody to imagine.  If  it's angry, if you get angry. 

Generally things happen and why don't things happen because things are happening within you look at anger as the red light  It's the warning sign saying that there's something wrong underneath But also look at it as an iceberg. It's the top of the iceberg. It's saying it's right there  It's right there But there's something underneath 

Anger  is called a secondary emotion because we tend to resort to anger in order to protect ourselves or cover up,  uh, other vulnerable feelings.  And we do it. We do all the time. A primary feeling is what we try to cover up as a primary feeling. Your primary feeling is what is.  What is felt immediately before we feel anger.

If any of these feelings are intense enough, we think of the emotion as anger. So,  journeymen, journeywomen, understand this.  Anger is a secondary emotion, but the primary emotion is the emotion that we feel directly before we feel anger. Or we go to anger.  And it's a couple of things, rejection,  hurt, being scared, frustrated, and humiliation.

These are four big things  that we feel immediately before  we go to anger.  But what happens is that we don't address these things.  We just go to anger. Anger is like the iceberg. It's the peak. But also it's like a red button. The red button, the red button saying, hey, there's something's wrong. There's something wrong.

Somebody's hurt. Somebody feels rejected. Somebody feels humiliated. Somebody,  expectations not being met. It's saying that there's a problem.  But a lot of times people just not listening to it.  But you have a red button right there. It's, it's the warning sign. It's telling you that there's something going on. 

But people tend to go directly to anger. It's almost as if they get a hammer  and slam that red button.  And all they do  is get enraged.  But they don't get a solution  to the primary emotion which is causing the person. The tense emotion to go to anger.  So like I stated before,  at the beginning and the previous video,  anger is not the primary,  the anger is the secondary. 

So let's work on  the primary emotions  and learn how to deal with them appropriately.  And we can be actually better off.  There's three ways that people handle their emotions.  Uh, you have people who spew. I mean, people just cuss you out. People, the one person that hollers at them is mad.  And that type of person would be in, in psychology, it would be considered,  uh, the angry parent. 

Always fussing. Always complaining. But they get off the chest.  They don't hold the rage. They don't hold it. They give it to you and those people. You don't want to be around because they're always complaining about something, but they're complaining with such venom. And then you have  the stuffer  as first.

Just keeps the stuff inside.  It's all right. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Okay. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. And then you go outside. Your tires are slashed or two or three weeks later. It popped explodes. You have the passive aggressive person, who's, who's the one who always makes sarcastic remarks, always makes jokes, but really means it.

Uh, oh, it, I don't care if you was out with Susie.  You don't never spend time with me or the kids. Always make undertones. And, and then say, it's alright, it's alright. I was just playing, I was just playing. But when people say they're just playing, there's always a little bit of truth in it.  But they're angry. 

And they try to get out and smart Alec jokes, they just leak it out,  leak it out.  Unlike the spewer who just hollers it out, who screams it out.  And then the stuffer  just holds it in. And you don't know when it's coming out.  Bam, you go on the bed, I want to talk. And they just come out with a whole bunch of stuff. 

It may be a month, two weeks, three months, six months later. There are people that have been stuffing things down  for 20 years.  And everybody's getting the,  um, the backlash. Everybody's getting the backlash off of it.  So those three, those are three types  of individuals  that display their anger incorrectly. 

Cause like I stated before, anger is a neutral emotion.  But people do not know how  to funnel their anger into a righteous cause.  Funnel their anger into intense need for competition to win  with good sportsmanship.  Funnel your anger to do something that's right.  Civil, a lot of people that walk for civil, civil rights were angry.

They was angry for a change. And they focused and they walked and they made a change happen.  Utilize that anger, that neutral anger,  and fire the passion  to make a change in this world.  However,  now the thing is, is that we got three different types of inappropriate ways to display anger, but this is a way that you display proper communication. 

I actually stated that the anger can be funneled into something productive, but also when you're communicating with an individual, what you want to do is  be assertive. This is an adult like conversation. If I have an issue, if things bother me with an individual that I have to deal with, I'm working with,  or I live with, then I need to communicate my message appropriately to them. 

I need to be adult about it and be assertive in my communication.  And assertive communication  is, will be the next video that we will talk about.  One more thing, Journeymen, Journeywomen, please like, subscribe, share, comment. And you, if you find value in this video, please click down below a thumbs up. And also remember, we're doing a new thing at nine o'clock tonight. 

Put a comment down.  Put a suggestion down and we'll respond to it tonight at nine o'clock. Please put a comment down so I can have something to respond to, because if there's no comment  down below,  I won't be here  at all.  Okay. See you at nine.  And also  remember  if you wake up vertical, make it your goal in life to always persist and move forward. eading 4